The Snowman

photo courtesy of vox.com

SPOILER-FREE REVIEW

     Based on the novel of the same name by Jo Nesbø, The Snowman is a crime thriller directed by Tomas Alfredson (Let the Right One In, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy). Set in Oslo, Norway, this icy mystery stars Michael Fassbender as Harry Hole—yes, you read that right—a down-on-his-luck detective trying to catch an elusive serial killer who calls himself “the Snowman.” Together with partner Katrine (Rebecca Ferguson), Hole tries to put together the puzzle pieces before the Snowman claims another victim.

    Despite the considerable amount of talent connected with the project both in front of and behind the camera, (Martin Scorsese let his name be attached to this movie as an executive producer!) The Snowman manages to be a fairly colossal disappointment. Operating somewhere in the nebulous zone between confusing, boring, predictable, cliché and incoherent, the movie fails to impress on any level.

photo courtesy of variety.com

     The Snowman relies on its barren, haggard landscape and a Zodiac-type antagonist to build its atmosphere. But while the Norwegian countryside is appropriately beautiful and forlorn, its killer (billed in the movie’s trailers as a far more interesting, far more talkative villain) doesn’t do much to spark the audience’s interest. He’s simply not around much, appearing vicariously through the snowmen he builds at the sites of his murders. The snowmen are supposed to be creepy and/or sinister, but in practice they end up being more laughable. They all bear a vaguely sad, pathetic expression, as if begging for the audience’s sympathy—not unlike the face Michael Fassbender wears for the movie’s duration. And if all that weren’t bad enough, the killer’s identity is pretty obvious from about 30 minutes in, so strike “mystery” off the list of The Snowman’s pros.

Sad snowman is sad. photo courtesy of digitalspy.com

     The pace is too slow and the plot too distracted to engage and maintain any sense of intrigue, despite the fact that The Snowman clearly intends to do so. Many of the pieces are there—and a few sequences even succeed in isolated segments—but they don’t materialize into anything meaningful. You get the feeling this source material would do much better as a mini-series, with a steadier stride and more investment in character.  

     But beyond The Snowman’s inability to create an interesting or believable narrative, there are legitimate signs that it was not even competently made. Script-wise, there are many moments (both large and small) that are, frankly, completely inexplicable. Why does Inspector Hole stick around his ex-girlfriend and her son like he’s an estranged father? Why does Chloë Sevigny play a character who’s around for two minutes, and then play her identical twin sister who’s also around for two minutes? Why do all the characters make so many dumb decisions? And why, why, why is the dialogue so unthinkably bad? I could go on and on. 

photo courtesy of cinemavine.com

     Then there are blunders that come by way of sloppy editing/composition. Case in point: numerous subplots that disappear, including two truly incomprehensible sequences starring Val Kilmer (of all people). I still have no idea what he was doing in the movie. In general, the editing style is odd, with a few oddly placed jump cuts and a tendency to cut away from action, particularly in moments of violence. It’s like the footage has been misplaced or the director is trying to shy away from violence—except that the camera doesn’t shy away from gore on several other occasions, as when one character receives a shotgun blast to the face via some poor CGI.

     If there’s one redeeming thing about The Snowman, it’s—I kid you not—the killer’s choice of weapon. He uses a contraption that almost threatens to make him an interesting character—a cross between a crossbow and a piano wire—to murder and dismember his victims. It would make short work of Luca Brasi, that’s for sure. Seriously, in the right hands (read: in a much, much more interesting context) it might rival Javier Bardem’s pneumatic cable-gun-thing from No Country For Old Men. But alas, this is a far, far, cry from that vastly superior crime thriller. 

Watch the trailer here.

photo courtesy of cinemavine.com