Friday, September 7, 2018

The Nun

photo courtesy of gotchamovies.com
SPOILER-FREE REVIEW

     The Nun tells the origin story of the mysterious, demonic villain from The Conjuring 2. Set in 1950’s Romania, it follows a young novitiate (Taissa Farmiga), a priest (Demián Bichir), and a local villager Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet) who investigate a death on the grounds of the Carta Monastery. Once inside, they discover that a powerful demon by the name of Valak has been haunting the Monastery and its inhabitants, seeking a way to escape the castle walls.

     Like its Conjuring series predecessors, The Nun looks great. It’s not a masterpiece of cinematography, but its Abbey setting makes for some wonderfully creepy, gothic atmospherics; it’s all long hallways, big stone antechambers, and candlelit chapels. If there was ever a conducive environment for spooky thrills, it looks like this.
photo courtesy of bloodydisgusting.com
     And yet somehow, the filmmakers have a lot of trouble producing scares. Previous Conjuring movies have favored jump scares over more powerful, slow-burn horror (an approach I frequently lament), but at least their jump scares were genuinely frightening. The Nun, by contrast, struggles to scare the audience with any of the means at its disposal. We’re talking about a premise practically bursting with potentially horrific scenarios, but the filmmakers just don’t have the imagination to bring any of them to fruition (apart from one uncanny jump scare, which was featured in the trailer). For the most part, they seem content to rely on the Nun’s naturally frightening face to carry the day, but even when she (She? He? It? They?) finally deigns to come onscreen, she doesn’t really do much. As my insightful movie-going companion put it, “we just kind of walk around hallways catching glimpses of something in the distance.”

     Like a demon whose presence originates from a gaping passageway to hell, The Nun’s problem with scares stems—at least in part—from a problem with narrative. Now, in fairness, a horror flick doesn’t always need a strong plot to thrive if it can make the experience worthwhile in other ways. But in the absence of real spooky goodness, The Nun’s thin plotting becomes all the more apparent and all the more critical. There’s a laundry list of mistakes: dropped subplots, bare minimum character development, a rough third act, and an abrupt, unsatisfying ending.
photo courtesy of fandango.com
     Here and there, you get the sense The Nun might be consciously trying to delve into its pulpier, cheesier instincts. Take one scene, where an enemy fails to succumb to prayer and a crucifix… but gets laid low by a shotgun blast to the head. Or another, where Frenchie responds to the discovery of an ancient relic with “Holy shit!” and Father Burke replies, “The holiest.” These kind of fanciful moments (and, indeed, Frenchie’s character as a whole) might be enjoyable, but they come too few and far between to make a substantial difference. They’re awkward outbursts, not a kitschy undercurrent. So without even a tongue-in-cheek attitude to save it, The Nun isn’t worth the time.

TRAILER
Watch the trailer here.
photo courtesy of filmschoolrejects.com

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